Many parents are unaware of the damage a divorce can cause for their children, even if the divorce is not especially hostile. Children are very sensitive to the feelings of their parents, so it is important that they are protected during this difficult time.
You and your spouse must communicate directly. You must never communicate through your children. Even having your child text your ex-spouse to say, “We will be late tonight” will likely make them feel uncomfortable. As parents, the two of you will have to learn how to civilly communicate with each other about issues involving your children.
It is also important that your children hear positive things about your ex-spouse from you. If you have friends or family around your children, make sure that they know never to say anything negative about your ex-spouse in front of the children. If your children are older, keep your Facebook posts and other social media profiles free from negative comments about your divorce.
When parents are hostile toward one another, the children suffer. Therefore, it is important for parents to be as flexible as possible with each other. For instance, say that your ex-spouse had to stay late at work and will not be able to pick up the children by 6:00, as your visitation schedule dictates. Instead of causing a scene in front of the children and refusing to let your children have their visit, try to work it out so that they can be picked up later.