If you’re planning to get a divorce, hiring a divorce attorney can get expensive. The cost of a divorce in the U.S. can cost you anywhere from $15,000 to $42,000 on average. You may want to consider divorce mediation services as a more affordable alternative. But you may be nervous about how to bring it up with your spouse, especially if the two of you are barely on speaking terms already. Here are three tips on proposing divorce mediating to your spouse.
Figure Out What To Say
Figure out how you will bring up divorce mediating with your spouse. If you get along decent enough, you may want to schedule a time where you and your spouse can meet one on one to discuss it. If you fear they may react negatively, you can propose your ideas in writing or by phone. Whichever option you choose, try to remain neutral and non-threatening when you bring up your proposal for divorce mediation help. Present the information without trying to coerce your spouse into it.
If you’re making your proposal in writing, you may want to compose a rough draft first and have a trusted friend look it over. Plan ahead what you’re going to say and make notes. You can also practice face to face with a friend to make sure you say everything you need to in the best tone possible. Give neutral reasons as to why mediation is a better idea than hiring a divorce lawyer. An example of a neutral reason would be it will save you both money and you’ll still be able to reach a fair settlement for the both of you.
Provide Informational Materials
If you have any printed materials or brochures from divorce mediators, you may want to give them to your spouse to check out. You can also show them any websites or other online research you’ve been investigating. This will give you both the same reference point in being able to come to a decision about using a divorce mediation service.
Propose A Specific Mediator
Before you suggest mediation to your spouse, you may want to look for divorce mediators beforehand. You can compile a list of potential mediators along with what they charge and give that to your spouse and let them choose. This communicates to your spouse that they have equal say in what happens and starts things off on a cooperative note. When bringing up mediation, it’s important to communicate to your spouse that you’re willing to consider their viewpoint on how, when, whether, or with you to start the divorce mediation process in order to set the stage for successful negotiations.
If you bring up divorce mediating with your spouse and it doesn’t go well the first time, don’t give up. Your spouse may not be ready for the idea quite yet. Try again gently at a later time. Mediation can be a good decision that saves you both time and money and allows you to bring full closure on your marriage in an amicable way.