Are You Actually Ready For a Divorce?

divorcing your significant otherMany couples spend years trying to make it work before ultimately deciding to file for divorce. And while fighting for your relationship is never a bad decision, this process can cause both partners years of grief.

If you’re trying to decide whether or not it’s time to finally end your relationship, ask yourself these four questions.

Do You Still Have Feelings For Your Partner?
If you’re questioning divorcing your significant other, ask yourself if you still have feelings for them. If you’re considering a divorce, then you almost certainly do have feelings of some kind. Unfortunately, rather than love and trust, those feelings might be anger, resentment, or even guilt. Of course, it’s normal to feel ambivalent about a marriage. Yet love alone is not enough to make a marriage last. Before filing for divorce, it’s important to honestly analyze the true feelings you hold towards your spouse.

Are You Actually Ready for a Divorce, or Are Your Just Threatening One?
When you get in arguments with your significant other, do you ever threaten a divorce out of anger or frustration? Have you ever tried to get your husband or wife to see things your way by threatening divorce? Do you ever use “divorce” as a wake-up call? If you answered yes to any of these questions, you’re likely not actually ready for a real divorce. If you were actually ready to get divorced, you wouldn’t keep using it as a threat.

Before talking about divorce, take the time to prepare yourself for the long process ahead of you.

What Is Your Intent?
If you have any intent other than getting a divorce, you’re not ready to do so. If you hope that by getting a divorce the other person will start to realize how much they hurt you and how they could have treated you better, you’re not getting divorced for the right reasons.

While divorce can be a very painful process, it can also be an excellent time to consider what it is that you really want out of your future. While you ponder divorce, search inside yourself and rediscover what you truly want from life.

Can You Handle The Consequences of Divorce?
Even if you might feel better about your relationship after divorcing your significant other, there’s a lot of consequences that come with doing so. For instance, a divorce can cause serious issues within your family. You’ll have to deal with where the kids live and who gets full custody of them. You’ll also have to deal with the pain of your significant other, if there is any.

Most people marry again about three years after divorce, and often it is absolutely the right decision for both spouses. If you’re certain that divorce is right for you, speak with a divorce lawyer or work with divorce mediation experts.