National data show that children in single-parent families are more likely to live with their mothers than their fathers. However, those statistics do not mean courts automatically favor mothers, that fathers are uninvolved, or that every child should have the same parenting arrangement.
A child’s primary residence, parenting schedule, and allocation of decision-making responsibilities are separate questions. The answers depend on the family’s history, the child’s needs, the parents’ circumstances, and the laws of the state handling the case.
What Do the Current Statistics Show?
According to the National Center for Family & Marriage Research, 65% of U.S. children under age 18 lived with two biological or adoptive parents in 2025. Approximately 21% lived in a single-parent family, and 10% lived in a stepfamily.
Among children living with one parent, 86% lived with a single mother and 14% lived with a single father.
These figures include children whose parents divorced, separated, never married, or experienced other family changes. They are not limited to court-ordered living arrangements following divorce.
Living With One Parent Does Not Mean the Other Parent Is Absent
Household statistics identify where a child lives when surveyed. They do not fully measure parenting time, legal decision-making, financial support, school involvement, or the strength of the child’s relationship with a parent living elsewhere.
A child classified as living with a single mother may regularly spend weekends, school breaks, holidays, or other substantial periods with their father. Similarly, a child may live primarily with a father while maintaining frequent contact with their mother.
A separate National Center for Family & Marriage Research analysis found that approximately 92% of minor children lived with their biological or adoptive mother in 2022, while 70.3% lived with their biological or adoptive father. Many of those children lived with both parents.
Historical Caregiving Patterns Often Affect Parenting Plans
One reason more children live primarily with mothers is that mothers have historically performed a greater share of daily childcare before separation.
That work may include:
- Preparing meals
- Arranging childcare
- Attending medical appointments
- Communicating with teachers
- Managing school and activity schedules
- Helping with homework
- Purchasing clothing and supplies
- Providing care when a child is sick
- Coordinating relationships with relatives and caregivers
When parents separate, they may agree to a plan that initially continues these existing responsibilities. If a court must determine parenting time, the parents’ prior caregiving roles may be one of several relevant considerations.
This does not mean a mother is automatically the more capable parent. Fathers may have performed an equal or greater share of daily care, and caregiving arrangements can change after separation.
Employment Schedules Can Shape Where a Child Lives
Parents may have different work hours, travel demands, childcare options, and levels of scheduling flexibility. These practical differences can affect which home is used for school nights and how transitions are arranged.
Historically, fathers have been more likely to be the primary wage earners, while mothers have been more likely to reduce working hours or leave employment temporarily to care for children.
The U.S. Census Bureau reported that in 2023, 23% of children under age 15 in opposite-sex married-couple families had a stay-at-home mother. Only 1% had a stay-at-home father.
These patterns help explain national statistics, but they do not determine the appropriate schedule for a particular family. A demanding job does not make someone an unfit parent, and earning more or less money does not automatically determine parenting time.
Parents Often Prioritize Stability and Continuity
Divorce can change a child’s home, schedule, and daily expectations. Parents may decide that one primary residence will reduce disruption, particularly when it allows the child to remain near the same school, childcare provider, friends, or activities.
Factors that may affect that decision include:
- The distance between the parents’ homes
- School and childcare locations
- Each parent’s work schedule
- Transportation requirements
- The child’s age and developmental needs
- Relationships with siblings
- Medical or educational needs
- The child’s ability to manage transitions
- The availability of extended-family support
A primary residence does not have to diminish the importance of the other parent. A well-developed parenting plan can provide dependable and meaningful time in both homes.
Courts Do Not Simply Award Children to Mothers
The idea that courts routinely give “custody” to mothers because they are women oversimplifies current law.
Illinois generally uses the terms “allocation of parental responsibilities” and “parenting time.” When parents do not submit an approved agreement, the court allocates parenting time according to the child’s best interests.
Under Section 602.7 of the Illinois Marriage and Dissolution of Marriage Act, relevant considerations include:
- The child’s needs
- The wishes of each parent
- The child’s wishes, depending on maturity
- Each parent’s prior caretaking functions
- The child’s relationships with parents and siblings
- The child’s adjustment to home, school, and community
- The parents’ ability to cooperate
- The distance between the parents’ homes
- Physical or mental health concerns
- Violence, abuse, or threats
Wisconsin distinguishes between legal custody and physical placement. Wisconsin Statute Section 767.41 expressly states that a court may not prefer one parent over the other based on the parent’s sex or race.
Wisconsin courts consider the child’s best interests and seek a schedule providing regularly occurring, meaningful placement with each parent, subject to safety and other statutory considerations.
Family-law terminology and requirements can change. Parents should obtain independent legal advice about how current law applies to their circumstances.
Primary Residence and Decision-Making Are Different
The parent with whom a child spends more overnights does not necessarily have exclusive authority over important decisions.
A parenting plan may address responsibility for decisions involving:
- Education
- Healthcare
- Religious upbringing
- Extracurricular activities
- Childcare
- Communication with schools and providers
Parents may share some or all of these responsibilities even when parenting time is not divided equally.
Likewise, an equal or nearly equal parenting-time schedule does not automatically resolve every decision-making question. The parenting plan should explain how important decisions will be made and how disagreements will be addressed.
Child Support Does Not Purchase Parenting Time
Child support and parenting time are related to the child but serve different purposes. Support helps address the child’s financial needs. Parenting time determines when the child is in each parent’s care.
A parent should not be described as receiving “divorce assistance” in exchange for caring for the child, as the previous article suggested. Support calculations, parenting schedules, and decision-making responsibilities are distinct subjects governed by applicable law and the family’s circumstances.
Safety Can Change the Appropriate Arrangement
Shared or frequent parenting time is not appropriate in every case. Domestic violence, abuse, neglect, substance misuse, serious impairment, or other safety concerns may require restrictions or a more protective arrangement.
Safety concerns should not be minimized merely to create a schedule that appears equal. When a parent or child cannot participate safely, specialized professional and legal guidance may be necessary.
How Mediation Can Help Parents Build a Parenting Plan
Mediation allows parents to discuss the practical details of raising children across two households. Instead of beginning with assumptions about what mothers or fathers traditionally do, parents can focus on the needs of their particular children.
Topics may include:
- Regular school-week schedules
- Weekends, holidays, and vacations
- Transportation and exchanges
- Communication with the children
- Education and healthcare decisions
- Activities and special events
- Childcare arrangements
- Travel and relocation
- Introducing new partners
- Methods for resolving future disagreements
The goal is not to identify a winning parent. It is to develop an arrangement that is workable, sufficiently detailed, and centered on the child.
Mediation requires voluntary and meaningful participation. It may not be appropriate when abuse, intimidation, coercive control, or an inability to negotiate safely is present.
Learn more about family mediation through CEL & Associates.
