The decision to separate can be an overwhelming one. But, as you know, it’s also the only way to find out if you and your spouse are truly ready to call it quits. Separation is a time for both parties to take a step back and evaluate what they want from their marriage going forward. While the thought of being apart may seem daunting, there are also many benefits that come with separation.
You’ll have more time for self-care and personal growth, which will lead to overall better quality of life. Plus, if things don’t work out between you two after all, at least you’ll have had some space away from each other before deciding whether or not divorce is the right choice. However, you need to ask yourself some important questions before separating and contacting a divorce mediator.
1. Have I Considered This Decision Carefully, or Am I Simply Reacting to My Current Situation?
It’s all too easy to get caught up in your emotions during an already difficult time. You should make sure that you’re making the choices that are best for both of you, not just what feels right at the moment. It’s okay (and completely normal!) to feel angry, hurt, and upset about the situation. But have you given yourself enough time to work through your feelings beforehand? Or, are you reacting based on what’s happening at the moment without a thought about how you’ll feel tomorrow or next month?
2. What Do I Want to Get Out of This Separation?
It’s a good idea to know what you want from your separation before moving forward with it. What will you need to feel comfortable with the process? Will time alone be enough, or are there specific things that need to happen to feel confident in your decision to separate?
For example, if you want to see a counselor or go to therapy during this time, you should let your spouse know so that they can support the choices you’ve made. If they’re unwilling to attend counseling with you and open up about what happened in your marriage, it may be more difficult for both of you to find closure.
3. Have We Tried to Resolve Our Issues Already?
As you know, many couples choose marriage counseling as a way of working through their marital issues. However, if there are still persistent problems that will not go away after multiple counseling sessions together, separating and finding a divorce mediator might be the better solution for you.
The decision to separate can be overwhelming, but it’s also the only way to find out if you and your spouse are truly ready to call it quits. If you realize that going your separate ways might be the best choice for you, make sure to get a divorce mediator. They can help you and your spouse reach a divorce settlement that’s best for both of you!