4 Ways to Reduce the Pain with Divorce Mediation
Did you know that 90% of divorce cases in the United States that go through mediation settle successfully? Divorce mediation is where a neutral third party (who is also independent and is known as the mediator) meets with you and your partner to work out a separation agreement. Mediation is an out of court form of settlement. It’s much cheaper (seeing that divorce typically costs between $15,000 and $42,500), takes less time, and affords you more privacy than contested litigation can.
However, mediation only works if your spouse isn’t hiding material information, and is willing to negotiate in good faith. Keep reading for some critical tips on divorcing your husband successfully through mediation.
1. Hire a Suitable Mediator
The concept of mediation as you go about divorcing your husband might seem straight forward, but no two divorce procedures are alike. To make your separation easier, you need to understand the core need that will make it less painful and aggressive.
Divorce mediators are skilled in different ways. Some are exceptionally good at undoing intricate financial knots and helping both parties come to a mutual understanding. Other meditators will be adept at handling cases involving domestic violence. Take the time to identify the primary needs of your process and match that to a mediator who has a proven track record in those areas to ensure successful results.
2. Plan In Advance
When it comes to divorcing your husband, you need to think through the major areas in advance and work under the assumption that he is planning as well. Consult your divorce attorney to answer questions around how to handle custody of the children. You also need to figure out what the potential alimony situation might be. An especial concern here would be the impact of the marriage’s length on alimony.
Another professional you will need to speak to is a financial advisor who can help you assess your financial documents beforehand. If you are going to reach a financial agreement on how to dispose of the assets and handle any debt, you need to have a thorough knowledge of your finances first.
3. Keep the Lawyers Away
If you choose to take the mediation route when divorcing your husband, you need to realize that having a divorce lawyer during the process isn’t helpful. A great divorce lawyer is trained to fight and win at all costs. While that instinct and the skills that come with it might be valuable in court, they are a distraction during mediation.
Having a lawyer present during mediation is not always the best idea. The best time to consult a divorce lawyer is before meditation as you plan, and after mediation to tie everything up neatly.
4. Be Open to Compromises
Going through a divorce is an emotionally charged process, and therefore, it can be easy for you to lose sight of the objective. The reason you would choose meditation over contested litigation is to reach an agreement in a less expensive and acrimonious way.
Before you step into the divorce mediation meeting, you need to know the things that you want to have and those that you need to have. These are two different issues, and when you know your needs and wants, you will be better equipped to figure out where you can compromise with the other party.
Similarly, you know your soon-to-be ex-husband better than the mediator ever can. You know what he needs and what he wants. You also have a good idea of what he’s willing to compromise on. Use this knowledge to go for a win/win by giving him what he’ll want to get what you want.
Is Mediation the Best Choice for Divorcing Your Husband?
Divorce mediation has a higher success rate than contested litigation. It is cheaper, takes less time and gives you the privacy you need. For it to work, though, there has to be goodwill from your spouse. Prepare in advance and learn what makes for successful mediation to get the result you desire.