Marriage is a caring and loving union until it’s no longer valid. That’s when divorce comes in. It’s aggravating because you feel betrayed, heartbroken, and exhausted. It’s even more unfortunate if you have kids and they have to go through the same stressful profess.
The divorce process involves a lot of grinding, especially when there are kids involved. Fortunately, the rate at which couples with kids divorce is lower than those without kids, by 40%. The divorce process, however, is complicated and whether you have kids or not, you need a divorce attorney.
So, what are the steps you should take to help you through a divorce?
• Address Your Denial
Denial is a state where your body shuts down emotionally until you’re able to deal with an issue. It gives you some comfort because you have distanced yourself from an overwhelming experience. It is, however, more difficult if you got divorce papers from a divorce attorney before you heard it from your partner.
• Allow Yourself to Feel
At first, you’ll experience anger and all kinds of frustrations. Don’t fight your feelings. Cry and let all the pain out. If there is a chance, it’s advisable to seek family mediation assistance before you begin the divorce process and talk to close friends throughout.
• Acceptance and Forgiveness
At this stage, you have already accepted the situation. You are ready to walk through the process with courage. Forgiveness should follow so that you can live without resentment. When you forgive, you’ll be able to welcome new relationships and a new situation.
If you initiated separation, you’d tend to feel guilty, but it’s part of it. Accept and move on. It gets better over time.
• Stop Fighting
If you’re divorcing your spouse for perpetual cheating, or for failing in responsibilities, don’t bring it up every time you see them. It will only hurt you more. If the court rules joint custody for kids, be prepared to see your ex. Remember you’re no longer married, so if he or she brings up a fight, simply walk away, you no longer owe them anything.
• Don’t Beat Yourself Up, Take Care of Yourself
Get a pedicure, immerse yourself in a bubble bath, and pour yourself a glass of wine. You can also get a massage, rent a movie, or buy that pair of shoes you always wanted. Just make sure you’re taking good care of yourself and not falling into any unhealthy habits.
• Think Positively and Explore Your Talents
Your hobbies and interests probably change when you get into marriage. It’s time to do what you love and explore the world. You can take up a volunteer job or travel the world. Try and make sure you spend some time alone but plenty of time with close friends and family members.
By now, your divorce attorney has helped you throughout the entire divorce process. All assets are divided, and papers have been signed and filed. What is the next step?
• Be Different
You have to move from the past. Suppose the house you used to live in was sold, what do you do? It’s an excellent chance to move to another city where you won’t see much of your ex and his or her progress or new spouse. Make different goals from those you made as a couple and achieve them.
Above all, love yourself. Marriages are not a success for everyone. Your divorce could be the start of a new and exciting chapter of your life. You might not be sure what is in store for you immediately, but there is something.